SAD

I look back and read over my previous posts. It makes me sad. I know things change no matter how much we don't want them to. It is hard to accept sometimes. Okay most times. I have a void in my life right now and I never thought I would. I know I need to fill it with positive things. But it truly hurts and I don't like it. I wish I could understand better. I just need to guard my heart more viligently I suppose. WHY?????

It has been too long!

I have hesitated to post anything since the drama on the boards! But I think I need to just do it and get over it. I mean really I am a small, small, fish and doubt any of my six followers will take anything out of context.! So it has been a full month. We have had lots of playdates. I have loved it! The more I hang out with these ladies the more I love them! I can never say how much this group means to me! It has been a life saver or maybe I should say a sanity saver! Well Meredith has wrecked my suv twice! Which just pisses me off more at Carl! He never really thinks about me well not much anyway! He is in such a poor mode now. He thinks the economy is going down hill. He even told me he thinks it will get so bad that we will have to grow our own food to survive! I may be wrong but I feel this is a little extreme! I just want my own car. I am tired of sharing. I want to get into my own car and know my stuff is where I left it and the radio is not on some offensive station! He just refuses to give Meredith a break on anything. He has two cars to drive he doesn't have to share and I always make sure his car is clean after I drive it and full of gas I might add!! Okay I have vented! I feel better now. Well we are waiting to find out what the shop thinks of my car's damage. I know it wasn't really Meredith's fault and she is as SOL as I am now but I am still disappointed. Not the first time and won't be the last:) Nanette is back from CA which is hilariously wonderful! Although she is going away again soon. I didn't think I depended on her so much but apparently I do. I just love her she is great! I have had a great stand in too! Angie! Boy am I glad I have friends. It makes me wonder what I did before. How did I manage? Christmas isn't going to be as exciting as I would like but nothing can truly deminish my excitement. Christmas is my favorite holiday and Loni is going to be so much fun this year. She says Santa is going to bring her "big stuff". She is getting so big every day. She is a little social butterfly too. She jones for her friends if she doesn't see them too. I really don't have any right to complain. My family is healthy and well taken care of. My friends are all doing well too. I get selfish sometimes and complain about the non important things in life! But life is great and I love it!

Weekend Fun

I went to the park with Nanette yesterday. It was the one in her neighborhood. It is a really nice park. We had alot of fun:) Today I took the Mountianeer in to see how much I could trade it in for. I think I have finally convinced Carl to get a car. I know the gas will have to be cheaper. But Carl is in poor mode because of the impending economy so I am not too hopeful. We have a pretty full week of playdates. I am looking forward to it. The new members social is this Friday and we are having it at Kerry's house I am anxious to see how it turns out. I need to work on the get to know each other games. I love doing this it is fun. Carl is getting rid of Brandy. He is giving her back to the guy he got her from. I like her but one less dog to clean up after is great for me:) Plus I know he will be good to her. She has a habit of getting on our bed with muddy paws! Won't miss that. Carl and I argued over the weekend. He is determined that I get my real estate license now. Even though I am not working until Loni is in school. He thinks that it will be helpful if he loses his job!!! He worries over everything. He looks for the most negative stuff and then dwells on it. I know that if I have my license and a job comes up Carl will guilt me into taking it. I don't want Loni in daycare and neither did Carl or so I thought. He frustrates me so much. But time will tell how it turns out! I just have to tell myself this too will pass:) I just have to be patient.

Friday Game Day

I had so much fun today. I get so much from the ladies in this group. I feel accepted and loved,We played games today and some of the ladies stayed late. I love it. I can't even express how much this group means to me. I so needed something like this in my life. I know that people can never get along 100% of the time. I don't even expect them to but I hope I can always be adult about it. I mean I left junior high drama in junior high. I hate to see people hurt whether they are my friends or not. It just seems so senseless I mean life is hard enough without inflicting pain on others or causing drama. I pray that this too will pass. I would have a big void in my life if the group shut down and that scares me! I have definitely made friends that I would still see but I know there has to be women out there looking like I was. I want to be able to help them. Not just feed into the drama queens. People like that should have a drama group and last time I checked our group was a mommy group! I actually don't read much of the politicial stuff posted. I have my views and opinions and others have theres I just accept that for what it is. I am not trying to convert anyone or change their ideals. But enough of that! I had so much fun today and I am going to continue it tonight! We are going to Lori's for an impromptu movie night! I am looking forward to it. I love spending time with my girlfriends. I am surprised it took me until I was 36 to see how important BFFs are! I love you Nanette, Lori, Erin, Angie, Casey, Christine, Christy, Meghan and everyone else I can't think of right now!! You light up my life:)

more stuff

Sick of being sick.

I am sick of sickness and we haven't had too much really. I hate being stuck at home. I really wanted to go to the peanut butter playdate but couldn't because Loni was sick. I took her to the doctor and she has a sinus infection. Which is better than something catchy! This way I don't have to be bound to the house. I get so stir crazy at home!! But I did finish the livingroom wall. Which is great I only have to paint it when the mudd drys! I can see the house coming together and it makes me happy. Tomorrow is election day! I am a little apprehensive as to who will win. I am afraid of having Obama be the next president. I don't think he can do our country justice. I guess I won't have to wait too much longer:( I am keeping it in my prayers. It is scary to think of the world when Loni is older. Maybe the Lord will just come back and we won't know how bad it's gonna get. I am going to glazyenfire tomorrow and am looking forward to it. I will however vote first! Good luck to our United States!

wow